Meet Diane

Diane is our GPS. She is named after the female voice. The other option was Adam.

Diane is probably responsible for 97% of the heated conversations that take place in Felix and 100% of the navigational adventures. The move that she pulled off today trumps all other moves she has pulled so far and goes something like this:

Diane: Please turn right onto the D109

Timm and Mel: Thank god, only 4km to go after a long day

100m further, the road narrows to a single track going straight up (think alpine road)

Mel: this looks dodgy

Timm: Yip, but this is the only road

Diane: please continue 2km and turn left

The road has now become very steep, very windy and there is NO chance for any car to pass us, the only option is to continue up and pray that there is a turnaround point at the top, bearing in mind that Felix is 2.35m wide, 7,40m long and 2,80m high and close to 3,8tonnes heavy

As we ascend this pyrenean mountain, the road becomes narrower, the drop offs to the side steeper and no bloody barriers on the side whatsoever. We are now convinced that we are going wrong but the campsites GPS coordinates (and funnily enough the signs) all point to the fact that we are allegedly driving in the right direction. 

Once the peak is reached, Diane proudly announces: now turn left. The only problem? Left is a hiking trail. And yes, the campsite signs also points to the hiking trail.

How on god-mother-f*****-earth can this campsite cater for motorhome's and then lead down a hiking trail??? So over the ridge we go, now heading down the other side following Diane's direction to the closest town only to reach a dead end. With virtually no turnaround point. 

A 28-point turnaround later, we are now headed back down the mountain road we came up on, Timm has aged 20 years and I am trying to keep things together until I can have my meltdown safely back in the valley....

So back to Diane. She has two traits:

1. The more backroady route she can take you the better, regardless of your settings (fastest route, shortest route, hell- fly the route) - it all does not matter to her. If she has the option of taking you down a main road or a single track country lane, she'd much prefer the country lane

2.  If you disagree with her and override her by ignoring her recommendations, she will sulk and stops talking to you. Easy as that. 

So poor Timm is not travelling with only one female, he is actually travelling with two... And as my dad so candidly pointed out the other night: it is our own fault for having a female do the navigation.